


When Skies Are Grey

by wouldratherbeaunicorn



Series: When Skies Are Grey [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Kid Fic, Protective Siblings, Singing, Thunderstorms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wouldratherbeaunicorn/pseuds/wouldratherbeaunicorn
Summary: Zoe didn't want a younger brother. That doesn't mean she won't protect him.Or: Connor can't pronounce his Z's.





	When Skies Are Grey

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from. Connor is fifteen years younger than Zoe, and she's the protective older sister she always wanted.

The storm was loud. _**Loud.**_

Zoe couldn't remember the last time she’d been woken up in the middle of the night by a thunderstorm. Nine years old, maybe?

Evan was woken up often, he texted. She wished she could be with him, wished they could comfort each other.

And how childish was that? Two seniors, soon to be on their own, quaking in fear at nature.

At least she wasn't outside in it, she reasoned. Zoe was inside, in her bed, with her parents across the hall and her brother next to them.

How was Connor doing?

He was only two, but he was already more stubborn than Zoe had ever been. If that kid was scared, he wouldn't say anything. He would stay where he was, and try to fight it.

Her bratty baby brother, all alone in the first real storm in his short life.

The thought made her cringe.

Sure, Con was a terror, and their parents let him get away with murder. And she had been perfectly fine with being an only child, thank you very much. And everytime she watched him people thought he was _her_ kid, and felt it fitting to offer parenting advice, because he threw multiple tantrums a week. And she’d accidentally taught him a curse word and he’d gotten her grounded. Yet he couldn't say the simple three-letter-word that was her name. And he threw up on her almost everytime she held him between the ages of 3 and 7 months. Also, he found it funny to draw with her lipstick. And he was constantly pinching her and biting her, but if she tried to do the same back, then she was a criminal.

Honestly, the kid should've been locked up.

But he was still her baby brother. She still needed to protect him.

Zoe stepped out of bed, jumping as thunder clapped loud enough to shake the house. She made her way down the hall, and opened his door gently, peeking her head in.

There was a blanket over a quivering form, and when she switched on the bedside lamp, she heard a small scream.

Her heart broke.

“Connor,” she whispered, patting his back. He jumped. “Connor, it's Zoe.”

She pulled the blanket off his head, and saw the child trembling under her gaze, eyes squeezed shut and hands over his ears. His long hair, which he refused to let anyone touch, under penalty of torture through burst eardrums due to screaming, was a tangled mess, drenched with sweat.

“Con-”

And then he was in her lap, lanky arms squeezed around her neck, face pressed into her chest. She could feel her shirt growing damp from the tears.

“Okay. Okay, we're going to my room, okay?”

He didn't say anything, just wrapped his legs around her best he could. She grabbed a Pull-up and When he started to protest, in the hall, blubbering about ‘scary' and ‘night-night', Zoe just shushed him, pushing a lock of hair behind his ear.

“I won't let anything happen to you. I've got you, Connor. We're gonna go super fast to my room, okay? Really fast. Ready?” Zoe tucked his head back under her chin. He shut his eyes tightly.

And then she ran down the hallway, not breaking her promise of getting there as fast as she could. She shut the door behind them, setting him on her bed, glowing purple under the dimmed light. Connor started to whine, reaching for her.

“It's okay, I'm just getting my laptop,” she murmured, unplugging it and setting it on her nightstand. If she couldn't get him to sleep, maybe Tom and Jerry could.

Connor scrambled into her lap as soon as she sat down, and mumbled something unintelligible, pulling her blanket over them both. He made sure it covered her feet, which was pretty adorable.

“Okay. Do you want me to sing a song?” she asked, laying down.

“Yeah.”

“What song?”

“Sunshine song.”

Zoe nodded. The song her father had sang to both of them as infants. He still sang it to Connor, she thought. Connor got everything she'd grown out of.

 

“I'll always love you,  
And make you happy,  
If you will only say the same.  
But if you leave me,  
And love another,  
You'll regret it all someday.”

 

He snuggled close to her, staring her straight in the eye as she sang the chorus. And she didn't care for that shit at all. She waited for him to fall asleep, rocking him slightly. But he was still awake after that, so she went on.

 

“The other night dear,  
while I lay sleeping.  
I dreamt I held you in my arms.  
But when I woke up,  
I was mistaken.  
And so I hung my head and cried.”

 

“Why cry?” Connor asked, furrowing his brow. “No crying, Doughy.”

“It's just the song,” she murmured. It was a pretty sad song, if she went deep into it.

“Sing happy song.”

She sighed, annoyed that he wasn't already asleep. But then she remembered his balled up, tense form, and went with it. “Fine. Close your eyes and lay down.”

He did as such, resting his head on her arm. Which was uncomfortable, because Connor Murphy had a big head. The doctors said the biggest in the hospital. She couldn't wait to tease him about it when he was older.

Zoe sighed, and began. It was one of those uplifting anthems from a Broadway musical. Her parents had taken her to see it, right before Connor was born, as a final only child thing. Zoe remembered thinking that the new baby was completely ruining her life, that the musical was the last good thing… She turned to watch the toddler, sucking on his fingers as he snuggled into her armpit. She was so wrong.

Zoe poked him after the song was over, and he did nothing, out like a light.

“I love you,” she whispered, kissing his head. He shifted and she cursed, thinking she had woken him up. But she hadn't, and instead fell asleep beside him, curved around her little brother.

His protector, always.

{}

There was few things as fearful as not knowing where your child is.

And Connor had caused that fear to fester multiple times. But never at home. He loved his room, would stay in there all day every day if they let him.

So when Cynthia found his room empty the next morning, she understandably freaked out. She was dialing 911 when she finally saw him.

Zoe's room was the last place she checked, because surely the teen would've told her if she was with him, right?

Apparently not, as they were both found snuggling in her bed, Zoe asleep and Connor awake, but staying still so his big sister could rest.

“Sh,” he hushed loudly, scowling at his mother. “Doughy’s sleeping.”

They really needed to teach him how to say her name.


End file.
